Resolve

This year, I am improving upon last years resolutions.  Yes, I will continue to battle with both my bad health and my love for cigarettes, two old foes I hope to vanquish in the coming months.  What I intend to push myself on, however, is my writing.  I have made great strides in the past year to battle my anxiety by putting my words out into the world and I am determined to keep that up.  I’m also determined to finish the first draft of my novel, which lies dormant in my computer just waiting for me to open it up and start pecking away.

I started working on it sometime around the fall of 2016, and have been chipping away at a big idea ever since.  I finished my general outline and about five chapters.  Now, though, I am stuck, and I resolve to get myself out of this quicksand before it swallows me up.  I have considered joining a few writers groups, but to be honest I don’t have that thing I used to have, when I walked into a club or activity at seventeen and immediately fell into pace with whatever was going on.  Now I am a ball of anxiety, nervous just to have to identify another person, let alone have a conversation with them.  And about my writing!  Unheard of.  I like a trusted voice, someone who knows me and can tell me what they think with out me getting all squirrely.  (My usual go-to for this has two kids and lives in Kentucky though, so it’s a big ask to send chapters.) Of course, a singular voice is not really conducive to writing, as you are writing for other people to read. All people, not those you know personally.  Which is why I thought joining a group like this was a good idea.  I can’t get up the nerve, though.  That’s disappointing.

So, one more resolution to make.  Get out there more.  Talk to other human beings about things that are important to you.  Try to recapture a little of that spark you had when you were young, and still recognized how to make new friends.

But most of all, and most important always, write more.  Write more poetry.  Write your novel.  Write another short story.  Update your blog more frequently.  Just write.  Write, write, write…

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