Aftermath

I’m typing on my phone because my desktop doesn’t lay sideways.  I tried it with the laptop but that was unsuccessful.  So here I am, pecking out words with my thumbs so very much slower than I would if I could use all ten fingers. 
I am sideways because of my eye surgery. In the end, doc found a tiny hole and thought the safest measure was to put a gas bubble in my eye to heal it.  It is. I know it is.  It still sucks.
The day after surgery was agony.  My eye pressure was 42.  For comparison my good eye was 14. I puked all over doctor’s office and went home with the worst headache I’ve ever had.  I have a strict pill and eye drop regimen meant to bring the pressure down.  So, for the third day there was relief, and boredom mostly, as I laid on the couch and watched Golden Girls all day.  I was finally getting relief from the meds, but the next morning I realized that anytime I got up to go to the bathroom I was terribly dizzy.  Not to mention the spikes in my blood sugar from all the eye drops.  The following day I started throwing up again.  I remain certain that this was not gastroparesis associated, even though that’s what they put on my discharge sheet from the ER, where I spent my afternoon and evening sweating, shaking, shivering, and vomiting.  I missed my appointment with my doc and ended up having to stay sideways a bit longer.  The weekend was hard because the kids were here, but I did my best.  Then today I woke up feeling dizzy and sick. Now I am desperately waiting for 4:30pm tomorrow when I can see him and he can tell me what I can do to start feeling like myself again.  Can I finally leave my right side?  Can I sit up for more than fifteen minutes at a time?  Can I stop the eye drops that raise my blood sugar?  Can I count on seeing clearly again, and when??  When, when, when?  That, my friends, is the question of the hour.  I comfort myself with silver linings, and all the things I will be able to do once my eye has cleared.  But now it will take longer than it was supposed to, and I’m generally an impatient person.  It’s very hard to look forward to the future when the now sucks so much.  Still, I dream of the books I will read and the new glasses I will get and the clear blue sky, and I persist.

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