Blind Fury

I started writing a blog about therapy and then I had to stop because of “the feeling.”  You know, that mixture of exhaustion and rage that we’ve been dealing with for about 20 hours now?  No?  Just me?  Maybe the ladies know what I’m talking about.

When Ruth Bader Ginsburg died, I cried.  I sobbed on a boulder in the middle of the woods on a camping trip while my husband held me and promised it would be alright; everything would be fine.  Then, yesterday, the Supreme Court made my husband into a big fat liar.

All I can think of is how scared those women in Texas must be.  How terrified.  This has nothing to do with saving human life, and everything to do with persecuting it.  I am so grateful to live in NY where anti-choicer’s are outnumbered in state government, but that doesn’t mean I’m not scared of federal possibilities.  That doesn’t mean I’m not horrified by the Supreme Court’s violation of the constitution. 

Here is the Texas law, explained a little, with my reasonings for why it is horrendous:

  1. Abortions are banned after six weeks.  Many women do not even know they are pregnant at that point…I myself probably wouldn’t even think about it until after week 4 went by.
  2. There are no exceptions for rape or incest.  Disgusting.  You’re going to make a victim carry around their trauma for nine months?  Then what?  Where’s the pro-life bit there? (Also, can we retire “pro-life” when what they really are is “anti-choice?”  I mean…it’s not like they’re going to raise the baby, are they?)
  3. You can be sued for helping someone get an abortion.  So, whether you are a doctor performing it or a nurse assisting or a friend DRIVING you there, you can be sued.  So, if I lived in Texas, I would be sued, because I will absolutely always drive a woman to Planned Parenthood, if need be, and we will go get ice cream afterwards.
  4. The citizens who choose to sue don’t need to show any connection to the person they’re suing.  So, a random could totally decide to sue you.  Or, more likely, an angry ex.  Gross, on so many levels.

Now, I have questions.  Say someone says a woman is planning on getting an abortion. What if she isn’t pregnant?  Does she have to prove it?  Does she have to go down to the police station and pee on a stick?  What if she is?  Does she need to submit her private medical files?  At what point do we get into invasive exams?

Give me a little bit, I’m sure I will come up with even more questions.

God, I’m tired.  God, I’m angry. 

I don’t have much love for Texas to begin with.  My friend Molly’s parents lived in Texas and she told me they had scorpions in their shoes sometimes and I said “nope” and swore I’d never set foot in the state, but this really takes the cake.  I have a cousin from Texas, and he is a nice guy.  I think he leans conservative and that’s cool because I know he reads my blog (Hi, Kevin!) and knows that I lean the other way, but he’s the type of man that knows how to look at different points of view.  I think he truly just accepts people as they are.  Which is how I like my conservatives.  So, in my opinion, him and his wife and their tiny dog are the best things to come out of the state.  And were it not for them and their kin, I would be perfectly happy with Texas seceding and calling it a day.  That’s how mand I am.

God, I am so mad.

So that therapy blog will be upcoming, because I am drowning in angst right now.  Happy Thursday.  I guess.

Tired in the Face of Battle

Once I wrote a blog about abortion.  I was angry at some bill that was being presented in South Dakota that when boiled down would have made it acceptable to kill anyone trying to terminate a pregnancy.  It triggered me to pull out my soapbox and start screaming.  Now it’s several years later and guys, I’m tired.

I mean, we shouldn’t have to still be doing this.

This week was draining.  This week was repulsive.  I am disgusted and exhausted, and I just do not have a thousand words on why you shouldn’t outlaw abortion.  Church and state.  The Constitution.  Not everyone is religious.  Back alley abortions.  Etc, etc, etc.  I just don’t have it in me.  I’ve passed the point of reasonable, logical discourse and moved right on to blind fury.  I spend my mornings screaming at the television.  I go on Twitter and Facebook to find every woman I know out for blood.  Even women I don’t usually agree with are angry.  They’re the sort that “don’t care about politics” or who I have assumed to be pro-life due to their religious beliefs.  I’m finding that even they are outraged at items like how under some laws abortion would get you more time in prison than your rapist whose baby you aborted.  I may not always understand them and we may not agree on everything, but it gives me hope to see these women realize that this isn’t a war on abortion, it’s a war on US.

Still, certain females (and Alabama state governors) turn their back on their sisters (and constituents) and refuse to acknowledge other points of view.  You can’t be a public servant and not serve the public, of which 70% agree with Row Vs. Wade.  It’s just not in your job description.

I’ve never had an abortion, but I have used birth control and Plan B.  It’s a slippery slope, you see, and that’s what they’ll come for next.  There have already been fights, such as employers refusing to cover birth control based on religious grounds.  I have no intention of having children, and I refuse to be seen as a walking uterus, which is why I am so absolutely grossed out by what is happening in my country right now.  And still, so tired.

Tired of the apathy.  Tired of the women who don’t care.  Tired of the men who know better but don’t speak up.  Tired of the men who know nothing doing all the talking.  Tired of the war, man…the struggle.  Just tired.

So, I don’t have a scathing diatribe about abortion rights, because I am saving my energy for actual battle.   There are protests to go to and letters to write and phone calls to make, and I would rather spend my time and energy doing something instead of just sitting here bitching about it.  Not that I won’t complain, mind you; that’s simply my nature.  I will continue to yell at my television screen each morning.  It’s cathartic.  The point, however, is that I can write all the blogs about abortion rights that I want but if I’m not actually doing something than what’s the point?  Yes, my words are my weapons but in times like these we need actual energy and movement and fury.  I’m tired, yes, but I’m also livid, and that rage fuels me to keep fighting for equal rights.  That anger is what keeps me going on the days when it all becomes too much to process, which has been the case this past week. 

Yes, I am tired.  No, I am not giving up.