Football Sunday

I haven’t been around for a variety of reasons, none of which I feel like delving into, so let’s talk about football.

When I got married, my husband and I made an agreement of sorts.  He would listen to a bunch of Canadian rock and folk pop music that he never heard before and I would learn the game of football.

Let’s just say he’s taken to the music better than I took to the game.

Sometimes I’m involved, because I get the basics now and can follow it all, but I also get distracted a lot when they aren’t making plays.  So, I like to tease.  As one does.

Sunday, I decided to make some comparisons between the football game and live theater.  Just for funsies.  Just to get on Hubs nerves a little.  But oh, my goodness…it became so easy!

First of all, there’s merch in the lobby.  Nothing I could find in the way of a Playbill, but you do need a ticket to get in, so there’s that. Then you get your snacks and find your seats, and the preshow starts…usually they send you a band or an organ player or maybe a comedian, but here we have some people singing and cheerleaders dancing, and some folks make the house announcements…the signal for the start of show.  Except no one tells you to turn your cellphones off.

Then the opening scene, the coin toss!  Filled with drama and suspense right off the bat as they decide which team will get the ball first, and then the dance begins!  I say dance, because if you think about it, this is all carefully choreographed.  They follow plays that are laid out in the locker room and on the field, and while there may be some variances in execution, they have a game plan when they head out onto the stage…I mean field.  The “live stream” shows the coach, who is, for all intents and purposes, the director of the piece.  They show the quarterback, our leading man!  Then the supporting players are on the field and they are running and kicking and throwing and catching and how elaborate this performance is, truly.

At some point Mark was getting annoyed with me, but then one of the players made a touchdown and took AN ACTUAL BOW, and he hung his head in shame.  I was rather disappointed by what appeared to be a lack of climax followed by little to no curtain call, but overall, it was a lovely little Sunday matinee.

I don’t know if I will ever be a true football fan.  I have no problem telling you that I am bandwagon hopper, even though I was born here in Buffalo, which comes with it certain inalienable rights, such is that you are, first and foremost, a Bills fan.  To be other in Western New York is to be an outsider.  I don’t know what to tell you, that’s just how it is.  So, thinking to myself that it’s also a little like church, what with the Sunday of it all and the community connection and weird veneration of things, and I’ve done church, so I could do football, right?  Then to my surprise, to find it so much like theater!  Yes, I may annoy my husband during the game with my commentaries, but at least I’m trying.  Like I said, he cam belt out some Ani DiFranco and Marianas Trench with the best of them, so I had better pick up the ball…har dee har har.

Also, the snacks are usually good.